How to Chase the Mama Blues Away

Depression is not my friend. She and I met in college and we had a long talk back then. I told her I never wanted to see her again. Nevertheless, she showed up this week and decided to set up camp and try to sabotage our family togetherness for a while.

I knew why she was there, so I wasn't too surprised to see her. Not only are we living through an unprecedented quarantine situation with bad news flying towards us every day, but I'd been watching my family suffer from flu symptoms for over a week. I was worried and on the verge of full-blown fear, so when those flu symptoms hit me last weekend so hard that I couldn't get out of bed, she slipped under the covers right beside me.

The flu was gone within a few days, but little miss blue tried to stick around longer. I couldn't shake her no matter how much water I drank, how much I tried to fill my home with laughter, or how true I stayed to my B12 vitamins. She wanted to stay for good this time, and I didn't feel strong enough to send her packing. But after a few days of hearing the people I love asking why I wasn't myself, I knew I had to at least try.

And then, yesterday, I saw her gather up her stuff in a tizzy and fly out the door just as fast she came in. I almost didn't know what I'd done to make her leave so quickly, but as I thought more about it, I realized I had three little things to thank.

Since I know I'm not the only one fighting the blues or something more serious like depression or anxiety through this strange new reality we find ourselves living right now, I thought I'd share them with you. Each one was a huge shot of adrenaline for our waning family togetherness factor this week, and sending the blues away was too.

#1 - I got lost in a super silly writing exercise with my kiddos.

I'm not a homeschooling genius by any means, but normally, we have a pretty stellar homeschool groove going on in our house. (I guess if you do something for 11 years, you ought to find a sense of ease at some point.) But this coronavirus quarantine has thrown us for a loop somehow, and we haven't been able to get into our normal groove for a couple of weeks now. Then, with kids and parents both battling fevers and feeling too sick to think, we threw all hopes of getting into a good groove out the door and just tried to listen to good books and learn something fun together every day. After a few days of audiobooks and documentaries, I was feeling like a lazy bum though, so I shut out everything and started paying attention to finding one learning gap that I could close for one of my kids. Pretty quickly, I realized that we could improve handwriting and essay structure if we just took some extra time writing together. All of a sudden, an idea hit me from out of nowhere. Since he's motivated by fun and games and really only needs help slowing down in order to write better, I opened our writing prompt book and told him we were going to co-write a story. He wrote the first sentence, I wrote the next, and we took turns sentence after sentence until we had finished a long, funny story about hamburgers and time travel that was such a hoot we decided to read it for the rest of the family after dinner. (and his writing skills amazed me) The next day, we roped his brother in for a three-person writing team, and we read that one after dinner too (each person reading his or her own sentence for added effect). It was a small win, but it did my heart good for so many reasons.

#2 - I started spreading gratitude vibes on social media.

Social media is such a blessing sometimes, especially right now while we're in need of a virtual way to connect like never before. But something felt off for me about what I was posting as I was going through this past week. There are so many resources flying through the interwebs right now, so many people offering help and advice, so many companies, teachers, organizations, and government agencies stepping up to offer amazing things, and it started to make me feel like my little two-cents wasn't worth sharing. But then I remembered how many of you joined this email group because of social media and how much courage I gather when I talk to you over there, and I decided to change it up and start spreading some gratitude instead. So, I've been posting one thing I'm grateful for each day on Instagram with the hashtag #whatimgratefulfortoday. This one little shift opened up so much brain space, creativity, and connection for me, and it opened my eyes to be able to see things from a whole new perspective. It's no wonder miss blue couldn't stick around - she's no fan of this much gratitude, and just a few days in, I'm honestly feeling like I might never go back to doing social media any other way. I'm calling it my gratitude project, but you can totally steal it and call it yours too. 

#3 - I tackled two scary tasks I'd been procrastinating.

Ah, procrastination. It often causes more grief than the actual task we're procrastinating, doesn't it? I won't waste your time telling you about the data analysis and emails I had been procrastinating that caused me grief this week, but I will say that it was so freeing to get those two tasks off of my to-do list. They seemed so scary when I was pushing them to the next day's list over and over again, but once I carved out two 30-minute chunks of time and made myself tackle them, they really weren't that big of a deal at all. Pretty soon, in fact, I was marking off all kinds of things from my to-do list. Momentum is a beautiful thing. 

And just like that, I felt the cloud of blues lift, I was back to my old self again, and I was making my way towards serious family togetherness. I hope that by sharing this, I've given you a few ideas about how to chase away your own blues should they come at you anytime soon.

Last night at dinner, as we read our funny 3-voice story aloud with everyone laughing around the table, I caught myself wishing the moment could go on forever. I hope you have the same kind of family togetherness win in your house this week too.

A note about the blues and depression: 

I don't share this to underestimate or disregard the seriousness of mental health. Depression is a medical condition that should always be taken seriously, and I realize what a blessing it is that I have only dealt with it briefly in seasons. If I had not been able to shake it this time, I would have contacted my therapist. (Yep, I have a therapist.) If you suffer from the blues or depression, if you're finding yourself especially low during this trying time and are unable to shake it off, or if you know someone who does or is, invest in yourself today by getting wisdom, strength, and resources from trusted sources. Ask a trusted friend for a recommendation. Reach out to someone you know who's beat this thing. Dr. Caroline Leaf is the researcher and author I've trusted in this area for over a decade. She has a podcast that's so informative and inspiring if you're into the holistic approach - give it a listen here.

This weekend, I hope you're doing more than hanging in there. As most of us in the U.S. are finding ourselves under shelter-in-place ordinances, I hope you're thriving at home with your family, soaking in all of the family togetherness you can handle. I hope the muffins are sweet, the homemade bread is warm and buttery, and the coffee never runs out. We're definitely sheltering in place in North Carolina and actually still heavily quarantining ourselves since we're only a few days beyond the flu symptoms, but the sun has been shining all week and we've become pros at backyard hiking and a few new hobbies too, so all is well.

Let’s go after those family adventures you’ve been dreaming of together.

How do you chase the blues away when they threaten your family togetherness?

Come over to the email group and join the discussion. I’ll see you there!